Let's just ALL forgive!

.............so just today, I run into Brian Baru and he looks extremely depressed which, now that I remember our relationship 30 years ago - is "normal"for him. He's been through two marriages, business is booming and he still has the sad sack look about him. He doesn't recognize me at first and then, drops to both knees, "God, you are so beautiful!"

We chat about many things, going through at least 20 years of catch up before he realizes that I'm actually there AT his business, FOR business. We take care of that quickly as the next customer pulls up so I get out of my car and we talk more.

Suddenly he stops and blurts out "I'm so sorry. I was such a jerk and all you ever did was love me. I can't believe that I behaved that way. It takes guys until at least 35 to get over themselves. I am so sorry."

Didn't see that one coming which really kind of freaked me out but then it also made me feel like at least he knew the asshole he had turned into at the end of our relationship. I told him that it was all okay and that I still loved him and that life just happens that way and he should get over it. I laughed and said that we most likely would have driven each other crazy and what a blessing in disguise.

I drove off sipping my mocha (he decided I wanted that instead of the vanilla latte I had thought I ordered). As I drove out and into the countryside where we spent our relationship time I started remembering how it really was. I was a full-time student, finally accomplishing what I had intended to do right after high school graduation - interrupted by my father's untimely diagnosis of cancer and subsequent death. My stoic self refused to ask my widowed mother to support me in 4 years of college (I should have not been so prideful/independent/ready to be cut free from any attachment to my parents). Finally, I figured out a way to get my degree in my profession and it was a push. I lived in my most favorite of all houses on the beach right on the Straits of Juan de Fuca. I was "wealthy" beyond reason and had discovered a deep and abiding love for gardening and beekeeping. My first year of nursing school was spent early morning hours shelling the Dungeness crab that we sold to the local restaurant. I couldn't eat crab for years after that!

I was incredibly lucky to have people around me who supported my every move. From the neighbor across the street who would "happen" to have extra grocery money to the other neighbor who took me out for dinner every Thursday night, knowing that I only had one more day of school to get through and knowing that I could have an extra drink that night without fear of forgetting everything I learned that week. There were my college professors who believed in me - believed in their "craft" of education and helped shape me into who I am.

Brian commented this morning - "oh yeah, you were in nursing school and now I remember all of that studying you did all the time. Sure looks like it paid off!" He wants to know if I'm in love or married or if there is anyone important in my life. HOW do I explain that ALL of you guys were/are important in my life? You also shaped who I am. Every one of you and there is NO way I'll ever reveal you to each other.

Just then George drives up - last time we met was in Park City, Utah on the sidewalk late at night, both a bit tipsy from beers and the altitude really helped the buzz. He wants to know if I have to leave so soon and yes, I'm always leaving George too soon. He's one I would keep and our secrets will never be told. You see, neither one of us have anything to apologize for. Just two people having the time of their lives - what can mean more than that???

And for the rest of you - I apologize too. I am sure that the woman I am now would never have left you the way that I did. And for you men of my future - let me just get my apology right out there now!!